Yesterday I read a sentence – written by a VRP – that had 97 words in it. 97! It didn’t make much sense, and I was worn out by the time I worked out what they were trying to say. It was a sentence that looked a lot like this: I went to the shop and I bought lunch and I ate my lunch at the park and I walked home and I played on the playstation and I called up my friend and we hung out at the beach and I came home exhausted from trying to write all of this in one sentence. This sentence also has a name: they are called lazy sentences. Yes. Lazy. This is collection of simple sentences joined together with a co-ordinating conjunction (and) to make it seem like a compound sentence instead of the writer putting a little effort into making them interesting compound or complex sentences.
There’s an easy way to correct that kind of sentence: stop writing them. You’re all better than that. Be interesting writers. Go on. I dare you.
There is another kind of long sentence that pops up quite often in writing too. It looks more like this: I like shopping I don’t like shopping centres I like to go to Rundle mall. These long sentences also have a name: they are called run-on sentences.
There are a few ways of correcting this kind of sentence. We’ll explore them in more detail in class but here’s a quick summary:
1: Make separate sentences. I like shopping. I don’t like shopping centres. I like to go to Rundle Mall.
2. Join the clauses using a semi colon. I like shopping. I don’t like shopping centres; I like to go to Rundle Mall.
3. Link the clauses with a co-ordinating conjunction (for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so) I like shopping but I don’t like shopping centres so I like to go to Rundle Mall.
4. Make one of the clauses dependent by adding a subordinating conjunction (since, which, that, because). I like shopping although I don’t like shopping centres; I like to go to Rundle Mall.
It’s time to get running away from these long sentences. (Long AND run-on.)
Copy this text and correct all of the long and run-on sentences.
I woke up early on Sunday morning and had a shower I decided that I was going to cook my family pancakes and went to the fridge to check that we had all of the ingredients we did I got them out and started cooking there were only 5 people home I was lucky I didn’t have to make lots like normal when I was nearly finished I woke everyone else up and they all had showers and then set the table and we sat down to eat our breakfast together one of the children had lemon and sugar and the other two had jam I like golden syrup and cream Geoff only likes maple syrup the boys cleared the table and did the dishes and it was a lovely breakfast.
I woke up early on a Sunday morning and had a shower. I decided to cook my family pancakes and went to the fridge to check that we had all of the ingredients. We did! I got them out and started cooking. There were only 5 people home. I was lucky. I didn’t have to make lots like normal. When I was nearly finished I woke everyone else up. They all had showers and then set the table. We sat down to eat our breakfast together. One of the children had lemon and sugar and the other two had jam. I like golden syrup and cream. Geoff only likes maple syrup. The boys cleared the table and did the dishes. It was a lovely breakfast.
I woke up early on Sunday morning and had a shower. I decided that I was going to cook my family pancakes. I went to the fridge to check that we had all of the ingredients. We did! I got them out and started cooking. There were only 5 people home so I was lucky that I didn’t have to make lots like normal. when I was nearly finished I woke everyone else up and they all had showers. I then set the table and we sat down to eat our breakfast together. one of the children had lemon and sugar and the other two had jam. I like golden syrup and cream; Geoff only likes maple syrup. the boys cleared the table and did the dishes. it was a lovely breakfast.
Thanks, Nikki
I woke up early on Sunday morning and had a shower during which I decided I was going to cook my family pancakes. so I went to the fridge to check that we had all of the ingredients. we did! so I got them out then started cooking. There were only 5 people home. I was lucky. I didn’t have to make lots like normal . When I was nearly finished I woke everyone else up. They all had showers and set the table. We sat down to eat our breakfast together. One of the children had lemon and sugar while the other two had jam . I like golden syrup and cream. Geoff only likes maple syrup . The boys cleared the table and did the dishes. It was a lovely breakfast.
I woke up Sunday morning and had a shower. I then decided that I was going to cook my family pancakes; and went to the fridge to check if we had all of the ingredients. We did, I got them out and started cooking. There was only 5 people home, I was lucky that I didn’t have to make lots like normal. When I was nearly finished, I woke everyone else up to have their showers. I then set the table, for us to have breakfast. One of the children had lemon and sugar but the other two had jam. I like golden syrup and cream; Geoff only likes maple syrup. The boys cleared the table and also washed the dishes. It was a lovely breakfast!
I woke up early on Sunday morning and had a shower. I decided that I was going to cook my family pancakes. Then I went to the fridge to check if we had all of the ingredients. We did! so I got the ingredients out then I started cooking there were only 5 people home. I was lucky I didn’t have to make lots of pancakes like usual. When I was nearly finished. I woke everyone else up. Then they all had a shower. Then they set the table. Then we all sat down to eat our breakfast together. One of the children had lemon and sugar. The other two had jam. I like golden syrup and cream; Geoff only likes maple syrup. Then the boys cleared the table then did the dishes. It was a lovely breakfast.
I woke up early on Sunday morning. I decided to have a shower. Once I had my shower I made delicious pancakes for my family. I asked William to check if we had all of the ingredients. We did! I got them out and started cooking. There were only 5 people home. I was lucky. I didn’t have to make lots like normal. When I was nearly finished, I woke everyone else up. They all had showers and set the table for me. We sat down to eat our breakfast together. One of the 5 children had lemon and sugar, the other two had jam. I like golden syrup and cream. Geoff only likes maple syrup. The boys cleared the table, did the dishes. What a lovely breakfast.
I woke up early on Sunday morning and had a shower ;.I decided that I was going to cook my family pancakes plus went to the fridge to check that we had all of the ingredients. We did I got them out and started cooking there were only 5 people home I was lucky. I didn’t have to make lots like normal when I was nearly finished I woke everyone else up and they all had showers and then set the table and we sat down to eat our breakfast together. One of the children had lemon and sugar and the other two had jam. I like golden syrup and cream Geoff only likes maple syrup;. The boys cleared the table and did the dishes and it was a lovely breakfast.
I woke up early on Sunday morning and had a shower I decided that I was going to cook for my family pancakes and went to the fridge to check that we had all of. The ingredients we did and I got them out and started cooking there were only 5 people home I was lucky I didn’t have to make lots like normal when I was nearly finished I woke everyone else. Up they all had showers. And then set the table and we sat down to eat our breakfast together one of the children had lemon and sugar and the . Other two had jam I love golden syrup and cream.Geoff only likes maple syrup the boys cleared the table and did the dishes and it was a lovely breakfast.
I woke up early on Sunday morning. I had a shower then I decided that I was going to cook my family pancakes. I went to the fridge to check that we had all of the ingredients. We did! I got them out and started cooking. There were only 5 people home, I was lucky. I didn’t have to make lots like normal. When I was nearly finished I woke everyone else up and they all had showers. Then they set the table, we sat down to eat our breakfast together. One of the children had lemon and sugar and the other two had jam. I like golden syrup and cream, Geoff only likes maple syrup. The boys cleared the table, did the dishes and it was a lovely breakfast.
I woke up early on Sunday morning and had a shower. I decided that i was going to cook for my family some pancakes. So i went to the fridge to check that we had all of the ingredients. We did have them so i got them out and started cooking. There were only 5 people home. I was lucky i didn’t have to make lots like normal when i was nearly finished. I woke everyone else up and they all had showers and then set up the table and we sat down to eat our breakfast together. One of the children had lemon and sugar and the other two had jam. I like golden syrup and cream Geoff only likes maple syrup the boys cleared the table and done the dishes and it was a lovely breakfast.
I woke up early Sunday morning and I had a shower. I then felt like cooking pancakes for my family. I then went to the fridge to check that we had all of the ingredients, we did so I got them out and started to cook. There were only 5 people home. I was lucky I didn’t have to make as many like normal. I was nearly finished so I woke everyone else up. Then they all had showers and they set the table. When they finished we sat down to eat our breakfast together. One of the children had lemon and sugar. The other two had jam. I prefer golden syrup and cream, Geoff only likes maple syrup. Then the boys cleared the table and they did the dishes. It was a lovely breakfast.